Friday, November 27, 2020

The unfair truth of weight privilege

As a woman who dips lightly into the plus size pool, I was extremely angry after reading Stephanie Yeboah’s “I Found Out The Guy I Was Dating Did It For A Dare. Here’s What Happened Next.” 

Yeboah tugged at the heartstrings as she wrote about her experience with the online dating scene, relationships and shallow men. Letting the world into her life, she gave a peek into her newest relationship with a man named Robert. 

Yeboah said, “He was funny, very intelligent, open-minded and ambitious and more importantly, accepted and preferred the fact that I am plus-size.”

Two-years since her last failed relationship, she braved an anxious smile for twitter while waiting for her first date with Robert. A photo posted to Twitter as she waited for her date shows Yeboah’s anxious smile. 

In describing the date, she said, “we had a great time during the three or so hours we spent together – we laughed, we exchanged hilarious date-fail stories, we spoke about our families, likes and dislikes…just normal date stuff, you know? He’d even bought me a little ornament for my room as I’d told him I was still doing it up, which was sweet.” 

After weeks of texting and phone calls, Yeboah invited Robert over to watch some Netflix as she cooked dinner.

 Yeboah admitted, “I know, rookie mistake.”  

Netflix went on and the clothes came off. Weeks passed after their fling, and there was no word from Robert. Yeboah found out later through a friend of his that it was all a dare. 

Yeboah was a victim of the dare Pull a Pig.“which involves a group of men daring each other to hook up with the least attractive woman (in their eyes) in order to gain clout,” Yeboah wrote.

Junior psychology major Yarleene Rodriguez said, “People are becoming obsessed with their bodies and not their minds. Not everything is about social media and pranks. It’s about self-care.”

With the relentless advertising of skinny, light-skinned models in beauty campaigns and TV commercials, women and men alike, can help but get caught up in thinking that is the standard for beauty. But in reality, it’s far from it. 

Yeboah said, “some of us [plus-sized women] choose to add a note about our weight to our profiles, almost as some kind of disclaimer.” 

 

A weight “disclaimer” somehow indicates plus-sized individuals don’t deserve attention, love and companionship. That alone puts the majority of women at odds with the world because they aren’t praised by the masses.

Rodriguez added, “it’s rough enough being a non-white woman in this world. Add weight to the equation and you are the last one on the list to get picked for anything.”

Commenters on the article pointed out that Robert could have genuinely enjoyed his time with Stephanie, but the shame that comes with being with a plus-size woman could have overpowered that. 

Men often aspire to be with the most physically attractive women to flaunt them as their own personal trophy  for status. Ego is a huge motivator for men, which usually comes at the expense of a woman’s self-esteem. 

Rodriguez said, “it’s really messed up and childish. Not everyone has the same body type, so it’s not fair to mess with them mentally and physically.”

It is twisted to take advantage of someone and interrupt their life for a brief moment to convenience yourself.  To assume someone is better than another based on their weight is disgusting.

In the eyes of society, how could we ever be seen just as valuable as our thin-framed counterpart?

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