I thought two things were going to happen. First, I thought I was going to puke.
Secondly, I thought I was going to black out.
It was noon right after my last final and I was walking with him back to our dorms. We awkwardly chit chatted for five minutes, but I was distracted.
“Hey, should we cross?” he asked as he looked both ways before crossing the street. “Yeah,” I responded meekly. “Yeah we’re risk- takers,” he said.
Risk-takers, I thought to myself. We’ll see if that’s true. He opened the door for me into our building. I should tell him in the elevator. Another woman unintentionally joined us in the elevator. Shit.
I pressed my button for the third floor, and I hesitated to press his floor’s button as a thought occurred to me. I wasn’t going to do it. It wasn’t the right time. It shouldn’t be with this random woman in our elevator.
The elevator doors opened, and I hugged him before I stepped out. I even said bye to the other woman in our elevator even though she had ruined a perfectly good moment.
As I walked out defeated, I turned back around and looked at him. My mind had a million thoughts flooding my brain. I was leaving for Christmas break, and I didn’t want to waste it kicking myself for not telling him how I felt. And honestly, if he didn’t feel the same way, I had a month to get over him.
We make excuses in life to avoid rejection. Was I really going to let the woman in the elevator be my excuse?To view more videos, visit our Multimedia page.So, in my impulsive nature, I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the elevator. I couldn’t believe I had done that. In hindsight, that was the hardest part. Just being crazy enough to grab someone like that without warning.
Whatever happened next is very hazy. He gave me a confused expression, but he rolled with the punches.“It’s the end of the year, so I just wanted to tell you,” I paused.
I started out confident but then my throat felt like it was closing up.
“I really like you,” I said. My heart was pounding. He looked away from me and I immediately panicked. “Okay, now you say something,” I said.
He paused. The pause was killing me. I leaned against the wall for support. “I feel the same way about you,” he said.
“Really?” I said in amazement. Holy crap.
“Really?” I repeated.
I should really learn to play it cool sometimes.
“That took a lot of confidence,” he said. He’s damn right. It took me all the confidence in the world to muster up those words.
We looked at each other for a couple seconds. I leaned in and his lips met mine. We pulled away and smiled at each other. I hugged him goodbye, and he walked toward the elevator. I stared back at my door. Did I really just do that?
“Okay, just one more kiss,” he said as he walked back to me. I smiled and kissed him once more before he left for break.
The biggest shock from the whole experience is how impressed my friends were with me. Some girls even told me they would never ask a guy out, which is ridiculous.
Think about it this way. Would you rather live with a “what if,” or an “oh well”? And for me, it didn’t exactly work out the way I wanted it to, but at least I know now that things weren’t meant to be. At least I don’t have that treacherous “what if” looming over me.
Here’s the moral of the story: Don’t let the elevator doors close on you.
Email Kavita Singh at firstname.lastname@example.org