Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Sex and the SUNY: Social media steals v-cards

We had the house to ourselves, I can remember lying on my twin-sized bed next to him, my stomach knotting into a big ball of nerves.

I had known this guy for years. We spent the last three months sneaking under stairwells during school, holding hands under the table and telling my parents we were going to the movies when were actually making out in his car.

This was the moment we would make it “official.” We were ready to tumble under the sheets, armed with our fancy Trojan condom, Fire and Ice.

Eventually, the smooching and friskiness began and badda-bing, badda-bang, the deed was done. After months of investing time in to this monumental moment, a couple of chapped lips and a hickey here and there, we sent our v-cards into the land of no return.

At the time I thought this was the biggest moment of my life. I was deflowering my flower, that’s a big deal, right? At least, it used to be.

Nowadays, losing your virginity can be a step you take within the realm of the social media world. Ever heard of a little app called Tinder? I’m sure you have, and if you haven’t, you’re living under a rock or you’re smart and avoiding the sexual temptations of hook-apping, my term for hooking up via a smartphone app.

I recently discovered that someone dear to my heart, someone I have thought of as an innocent, little angel lost her virginity to a guy she met on Tinder. My heart wept for her poor virginity being stolen by social media. Instead of being gracefully sent off, it was shoved through the touch screen of her iPhone.

Now, I do like to consider myself “hip” and “with the times.” I’m a 21-year-old girl with a social life. I believe I know how to have a good time, and I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to almost everything.

But this is where I draw the line between me and social media acceptance. I do not support this virtual hook-up culture, mainly because it depresses me that someone could be robbed of such an intimate or utterly embarrassing “first-time” experience.

Instead of having a possibly funny, romantic, sweet or mortifying first time sexual experiences, kids are choosing to match on Tinder and have a quickie.

I live for those awkward, memorable experiences. I’m full of them. Those are the stories I bring out when I’ve been drinking and want to make the crowd laugh.

Social media is not only taking over our social lives, but also our sex lives. It’s madness. Instead of taking the time to get to know someone, fool around a bit and crush on each other, our generation is resorting to liking or disliking a selfie.

Am I a 70-year-old woman trapped in a 21-year-old’s body? Am I that elderly woman shouting at the kids on the street? Or am I an open-minded young woman who sets standards for herself and, for the most part, lives by those standards?

I’m not sure. To most, I’m sure they’re thinking, “Wow, OK, grandma.” But to me, I’m thinking about the youngsters who are sending naked Snapchats, creating their Tinder profiles and prowling cyberspace for the one who gets to match with them and swipe that v-card.


Email Brittany Shew at

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