Thursday, February 22, 2024

Love is hip

When it comes to romance and the dating world, it takes a lot to open yourself up to another person on an intimate level.

It’s tough to give so much to a person whom you barely know, but it’s a risk we take.

It can have you feeling on top of the world, and in some cases, it leaves you on the ground with your hip out of your own socket wondering, “How in the hell did I end up here?”

Her mom had given me a good review, which eased the pit stain buildup that I had been working on for all the time at the dinner table.

Relieved that her mother was so supportive of me dating her daughter, my soon-to-be girlfriend was in a very “giving” mood.

We started to make out on her bed, and I vividly remember the feeling of her stuffed bear under my butt. Those damn marble eyes kept poking my cheeks, and it was killing my mood.
But this girl was still a little new to me, so I had to play it cool.

In one motion, I picked her up and barrel rolled the two of us onto her bed in an attempt to be sexy while at the same time avoiding a threesome with that stupid bear.

I’m not quite sure at what point it happened, but somewhere in the middle of my endeavor, I felt a click on the right side of my body.

My hip had just popped out.

I will never forget the first words that came out of my mouth after this atrocity occurred.

“Oh baby.”

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At this point, she probably thought I was getting really into it, but she had no idea what was to follow.

The pain had gotten so severe that I rolled off of her bed and onto the floor. I held back screaming because I didn’t want to scare her.

I must have looked like a character from the Walking Dead as I army crawled along the floor to find a surface to pop my hip back in.

She was in shock. She repeatedly ask what had happened and if there was anything she could do to help.

I was still set on playing it cool with her that I just continued to say, “No, it’s fine. This happens all the time, just give me a second.”

In reality, I was experiencing a tremendous amount of pain, and all I wanted to do was cry.

The pain got so bad at one point that I just broke out into laughter. I think she thought I was insane at this point.

I made my way up her stairs throwing my body over each step. With all my force, I popped my hip back into place.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved in my life.

Her mother, who I had met for the first time just hours before had an eagle-like gaze over me.

My new girlfriend admitted to me days laters that her mom heard the banging and moans from upstairs and thought that we were doing the deed, for lack of a better phrase.
First impressions aren’t exactly my strong suit, I guess.

In the end, I took a lot away from this experience.

You may find yourself getting stood up for a date. A girl who you’re crazy about might not be that into you, but when you’re feeling low about your love life, just think, “At least I’m not on the floor looking frantically for a place to pop my hip back in, while the girl of my dreams is crying.”

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