Friday, June 21, 2024

Follow your instincts

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked as he twirled me around to face him. We were at a fraternity house, and I was intoxicated. The dance floor was packed, and we made our way through the pack to get some fresh air.

We walked for a little bit, and I found out he was actually just visiting his brother for the weekend.

“You don’t even go here,” I said laughing.

He was the same year as me and apparently very good at basketball. He mentioned some award he got for playing so well. The rest of the details of his life are hazy to me.
“I have to pee,” he said.

I rolled my eyes, and we took a detour. While he was peeing, he asked me how many guys I’ve slept with.
“Don’t ask a girl that for future reference,” I slurred.

“My brother told me to ask that,” he said.

“Your brother is an idiot, and so are you,” I said.

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Somehow, this exchange turned into an argument, which is funny considering we had just met. Now, I’m not sure how this transitioned, but before I knew it, we were making out and rolling around in the grass.

Luckily, we both had simmered down.

“What do you want to do now?” he asked as he kissed my neck. My phone buzzed and my friend told me to meet her back at the house so we could all walk back together. “Hey, this is my idiot friend,” I said.

I shoved him, and he smiled and shook hands with my friends.

I told him I had to stop at my friends to get my bag. We went to my friend’s empty room and again, somehow, we ended up making out on my friend’s bed. “OK, I’m going to go back to my building,” I said suddenly.

Somehow, something felt off in that moment.

“Can I at least walk you to your dorm?” he asked.

We got to my suite and he asked me if we could make out again. He was a great kisser, but at this point, I was kind of bored. I had a little basketball hoop on my door, and I threw a basketball at him.

“Only if you make this shot,” I said.

He made the shot effortlessly. I guess he was really good at basketball. We began making out again, and this time he grabbed my legs and lifted me up as we were making out. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He put me down on the couch. I stopped kissing him and paused.

“You wore that ugly sweater out?” I asked.

“Here, I can take it off,” he said.

We resumed and started to undress. My head felt like it was spinning a bit, and he asked me if I was OK. I wasn’t.

I shook my head. He kept kissing me, which was nice, but I stopped him again. He was pissed.

I looked at him. He was very attractive, looked great shirtless, and I wouldn’t have to deal with any repercussions since he didn’t go here. Everything seemed all right. But there was this little voice telling me not to do it. Something I’ve learned over the years is to always go with your gut. I shook my head.

“You let me come to your room,” he said.

“My common room, dummie,” I said, getting mad.

I felt bad. But I would rather have him calling me a bitch or an asshole than going through with something I didn’t feel right it. I realize he went through all these hoops just to get me in that position, but it didn’t mean he had “earned” anything.

Don’t be afraid to listen to your gut no matter how messy or awkward it may be.

Email Kavita Singh at

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