It always starts out so innocently. That feeling you get when you meet someone you’re really into.

What’s the next move, you say?

Well, let’s start with her number. Right now I’m feeling really brave, and by some miracle, I don’t have a weird voice crack when I ask for her digits.

So, I send out the first text confidently. You got this Dave, get ready to put a ‘W’ in the win column. DJ Khaled would be proud.

Then, something weird happens.

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She answers my text, and I freeze up. Holy shit. I have no idea what to text this girl. Well, no worries, I can choose from a variety of topics right? Our hatred for Moodle, plans for the weekend, those popular dab vines and our mutual love for hilarious sitcoms. Just pretend she’s right in front of you. What’s the big deal?

There comes a point in the conversation when there is a dead period, where you run out of stuff to talk about. I try not to stress out, and I pride myself on being a laid back guy. But if I fail to keep her interested, the game will be over, and some other guy is just waiting to swoop in if I mess up. I don’t want all my hard work to go to waste.

I text everyday. I check in with my mom in the morning so she doesn’t get mad at me, participate in my suite’s groupchat and plan beer runs. It seems so easy, but the truth is I’m a terrible texter.

For some reason when it comes to texting girls, especially ones that I’m into, I make the situation more difficult than it needs to be.

It feels like I have to cross an ocean and climb a mountain just to get the opportunity to see this person face-to-face. It can be a struggle sometimes because the conversations can go all over the place. You always have to be on your toes. Our generation has such a short attention span, so we get bored easily. I don’t want be a bore. It’s not a good look.

I prefer face-to-face interaction, and I know that in this day and age, I’m in the minority.

There is no phone to hide behind and you get genuine emotions from one another. What you see is what you get. It’s real and more intimate. I feel like texting sometimes feels scripted. You have to say this at that time, and you can’t miss your cues or you will face the consequences.

Trust me. I’ve tried to get better at this.

You have a lot of dumb moments. How about everyone’s favorite response ‘Sure’. It really shows the enthusiasm you must have to hang out with me You would think “Hey” is just a form of common greeting, right? Add three more ‘y’s, and it has a totally different meaning. I had no idea. I didn’t want to ask for other girl’s opinions. “I should know this stuff,” I thought, and I didn’t want to take a hit to my ego.

Add emojis to the mix and Dave’s anxiety levels goes up. What the hell is she saying? Did I miss something? Earlier I was looking up vacation packages, planning my whole life together with her now, and it’s all gone before it even started and I have no idea why.

I know that sounds extreme, but that’s how it feels sometimes.

So what do I do?

At this point, I feel like I should have a Google Doc of a list of conversation starters, jokes and any other necessary material. I got to make this completely fool-proof and make sure I’m ready for anything. You’re probably thinking, “Dave, isn’t this a little too much?”

Yes, but for now, texting is a work in progress, and I’m open to whatever gets the job done.

Email David Luces at fuse@cardinalpointsonline.com

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