Winter break is almost here. As I pack six week’s worth of clothes, makeup and books into my suitcase, I am more and more excited to get out of Plattsburgh. I get the comfort of my bed, home cooked meals and stronger water pressure in the shower.
More importantly, I will get a welcomed break from driving over 200 miles to Oswego State on weekends.
My boyfriend and I spend the duration of the school year five and a half hours away from each other. I typically see him at least twice a month, but the weeks in between and the long drives to and from can be unbearable sometimes.
Soon, we will be only 12 miles from one another and I will be able to drive back and forth several times a day if I wish. I am actually counting down the hours of classes left until I’m home (10.5 and one final).
Long distance relationships can be tough. Arguments, jealousy and miscommunications seem to occur more often. My boyfriend and I had a rough start long before the distance set in, and our anxieties and insecurities have definitely gotten the best of us more than once since the separation. The double texts, social media stalking and blatant skepticism are all things we have been working to fix over the last few months.
It can also be hard to integrate your significant other into your campus world. You both make new friends and have an almost “double life” without each other. That seems to be one of the biggest inconveniences I deal with personally. Sometimes, we have a hard time understanding each other and our respective friend groups because we are not there to take part in everyday life. When we finally see each other, both of us have developed new routines and inside jokes with friends that the other one just doesn’t understand.
It’s worth it in the long run though. When we do visit each other, we try to plan cool activities and outings, so we can show off our campuses and local attractions, and for winter break, we already have some really exciting plans and trips lined up. But I know there will also be plenty of Netflix and couch days. And that is fine by me.
With LDR’s, you find comfort in small things like that. Movies, food shopping and even household chores mean a little more when the person you love is doing them with you, especially if you don’t get to see them very often. I also feel like there is more to talk about. The stories of crazy house parties or a zany professor wouldn’t be as funny if your significant other had already seen those things firsthand with you.
You also learn to appreciate your partner. My boyfriend’s feet and shoes smell awful. But sometimes, I think, “I could put up with that if it meant he was here with me now.” He sleeptalks, sometimes, so loudly it wakes me up. I’d trade the distance for the sleeptalking. Annoying little habits we pick up on after too much time together seem nonexistent, or at least tolerable, in the brief time we’re close enough to notice them.
Long distant relationships are not easy, especially in college. I had several people tell me to “not bother” with the relationship, it wouldn’t be worth it, it would ruin my time in college.
But it’s times like these, when I’m writing a column at 6 a.m. with absolutely no sleep, that I wish my boo thang (yes, I actually call him this) was here with me most.
I’m usually not this sappy or reflective when it comes to my relationship. We aren’t all over each other in public and are reluctant to show very much PDA. We both like having our independence and our free time. Probably because I know by the end of winter break, my boyfriend will be well past the point of driving me crazy. He’ll go back to Oswego and I’ll go back to Plattsburgh. It sucks, but it only makes me appreciate him even more than I already do. The only good thing about this is visiting each other for rival hockey games. Go Cards!
Email Marissa Russo at firstname.lastname@example.org