I was going through heartbreak when my best friend texted me. The night before, we had spent two hours Facetiming about what an idiot this guy was for breaking things off with me. I was trying to distract myself, so I went to one of my friend’s house to hang out. As I was leaving, my best friend texted me “He broke up with me.”
My best friend was hysterical. It was too bad she went to the University of Marist because all I wanted to do was reach over and hug my sobbing friend as she wept about how this came out of a left field.
At first, we both took different approaches to our heartbreak. While she cried in her apartment and tried to work things through in her head, I tried getting over the situation as soon as possible.
“I just need to bang someone,” I said one day while Facetiming. I remember seeing a faint smile appear as she wiped away another tear from her face. While we took on different approaches, we went through the same sort of feelings.
The next couple of days post-breakup were rough for the both of us. We would constantly run into our exes. I would call her one day and say, “So I saw him, and I’m proud of myself for looking like I didn’t care.”
And then the next day, I would text her how sad I was seeing him walk to class with his friends. The point is, it was nice having someone who understood exactly what I was going through because she would text me and call me with very similar stories. While my other friends were telling me to “just get over it,” it was easier said than done, and my best friend completely knew what I was going through, so she let me vent.
We ranged from pure anger over how we were treated, to feeling hopeless, like we’d never meet anyone again.
We also shared some laughs. We talked about the play by play of how she should handle certain situations.
“When you give his stuff back, you should have some sunglasses and a hood on, and then have the song ‘I Don’t Fuck with You,’ blasting,” I would say to her. Of course, she didn’t do that, but it was hilarious to come up with these types of hypothetical scenarios of screwing over our exes.
Then there was the denial.
“I feel like he’ll realize he messed up, and let something good go,” I said to her. “ I’m not just another random girl he can screw over.”
“Yeah, but if he doesn’t realize that, then he’s probably not worth it,” she said worried about me.
And of course, I still held onto to that little piece of hope that same way my best friend was too. Then one day, she snapped when I saw my ex go home with another girl. She sent me paragraphs about what an asshole he was to me. She said I needed to move on and find someone who is worthy of my love, which was surprisingly great advice. It was nice to see my best friend in a good place.
Later that day, she cried and listened to Beyonce’s album until she fell asleep.
We were a mess. But we were a mess together.
And at the end of the day, I probably won’t be meeting my prince charming in college and have some epic love story, but at least I have my friends to back me up.
I think we get so caught up trying to preserve relationships, that we forget about the people that will always be there for us. Because to be honest, my best friend and I didn’t talk as much when we were in relationships because we were preoccupied. But those relationships went to shit, and if I didn’t have my best friend to turn to, I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it.
So if you are in a relationship, always make time for your friends. You never know where your relationship will take you, but friends are supposed to be there no matter what.
Email Kavita Singh at firstname.lastname@example.org