Friday, September 18, 2020

Crazy, stupid love

Love captures the human interest, whether its form prospered through “adolescent love” or “mature, knowledgeable love.” We grasp onto its meaning and cherish it for years to come. Unfortunately, love doesn’t consume certain people. Could college be your “big break,” the time you meet “the one?”

Plattsburgh State student Allison Dix is still in love with her high school sweetheart of almost four years. Sparks flew when they first locked eyes. Until move-in day at their colleges, they were inseparable, but long distance affected their quality time. Now, Dix and her boyfriend hold distance accountable for their occasional arguments. Dix says jealousy affects them both, and she worries about him cheating.

Maintaining a relationship in college is difficult. While few students enjoy love, a larger proportion of students are single. Dix says it’s hard to relate to her friends who are single and dating.

Conversing with friends is difficult enough, but what about being hit with college dating apps like Tinder, Fade and not to mention Yik Yak’s “hook up” specialty? Escaping this new social realm of dating is impossible.


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J.W. Wiley, PSUC’s Center for Diversity, Pluralism and Inclusion, as well as Philosophy & Interdisciplinary Studies specialist, said online dating is much better than being impaired at a bar trying to find the love of your life.

Wiley understands the struggles the dating world brings.

Although you don’t encounter your online match face-to-face, the information you allow others to see concerning yourself will give you the ability to find the “perfect one.”

In his own life and mentoring others, he always reminds himself and his students that, “You should have more of a relationship with your books than with anything else because knowledge is the foundation we obtain for the rest of our lives.”

Maintaining a relationship in college requires skill, which some of us can’t grasp. For Buster Baker-Porazinski, his relationship ended due to lack of communication. Baker-Porazinski and his girlfriend met their freshman year of high school. He said he was happy during his four-year-long relationship.

Distance and jealousy made their way into the picture, leaving the couple broken in two.

Baker-Porazinski struggles with a broken heart and dating peer pressure. While he slowly develops his confidence, his curiosity inspires him to join the “dating-app world.”

Although it frightens him, he widens his horizons, proceeding with caution.

So, what is love? It has been said that there is no answer to that question, but Wiley places his own definition to it. “Love is a combination of physical, emotional and psychological attraction you hold for someone. Together, you inspire respect and consideration in one another.”

One restriction: “It’s impossible to love someone if you don’t love yourself,” Wiley said.

Email Cardinal Points at cp@cardinalpointsonline.com

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