Third wheeling. Or even fifth wheeling. No one wants to be the odd ball out. Having a group of friends that all have significant others except for you can be a little challenging. Inviting them out to brunch or a movie means that date is eventually going to turn into you becoming the third wheel.
Saying “no” when your friends ask to bring their partner along to places that you have invited them to can bring about the idea that you are jealous. This may not even be true. You may just want to spend the day with your friends alone. However, because you are single, your friends might get that ‘jealous’ vibe from you.
You might think your friends are going to forget about you because they are spending more time with their partner instead of you. “It was annoying being the single friend because I felt like I wasn’t included in anything,” said PSUC Lauren Walters. “I would always have to ask what the plans were, they rarely automatically told me.” It can feel like your friends are taking pity on you.
PDA is something than can make any third wheel cringe. Sitting awkwardly in a restaurant while your friend is sticking his or her tongue down their partner’s throat can be embarrassing. Having to tell your friend to stop or getting a “where’s your partner?” look from the waiter can make almost anyone blush.
You are forced to be the one that takes all the pictures that night. You are the designated photographer. Sometimes you are even the outsider on an inside joke. You are forced to listen to all their relationship problems.
“Some of my old friends would always vent to me about their relationship issues,” PSUC Breyana Anderson said. “It would get really irritating to listen and comfort them, when they knew they were eventually going to go back and end up in the same situation.”
It can be overbearing to listen to what your friends are going through and then to comfort and support them and their decisions. However, because you are the single friend, it is confusing as to why your friends would even want advice from you because you are not in the same situation as them.
Being the single friend in friend group can be a good and bad thing. You can feel left out, but you can’t be in the same situations as couples do, which saves you the stress.
Nevertheless, because you are the single friend, when you do get in a relationship, it is a big deal to all your friends. They say that they are so happy for you, and now you can go on double dates together.
“Some friends get mad when their single friend isn’t single anymore,” Walters said. “It takes the shine away from the older couple in the group; and they may say that they are happy for you but you just never know.”
Single friends matter. They are the ones that will be there whether you’re in a relationship or not. Don’t put your single friend last because he or she will be the first one to comfort you when ship hits the fan..
Email Tamiyha Carter at firstname.lastname@example.org