Monday, January 25, 2021

Ride the crimson wave

“Damn, baby. You’re so wet.”

The heat rises as she hears those words whispered in her ear. Before you know it, it’s time to switch positions. She wants more. But as the shuffling in the sheets begins, her guy takes one quick look at his junk, and he discovers why she’s “so wet.”

It’s that time of the month. Now, imagine being a woman, feeling all sexy with your man, and realizing that your vagina just covered your partner’s penis in blood. Yeah, it sucks. The female, whose period surprised her and probably ruined her orgasm, will likely panic. The male, on the other hand, shouldn’t.

I’ve received different reactions from men in my day. The first time my period popped in for a “Hello,” my boyfriend at the time, who happened to be my first sexual partner, freaked out like it was the end of the world. Boys, that’s completely unnecessary. What a girl really needs is some reassurance.

Here’s some advice to follow when the Big Red Dot appears:

1. Ladies and gentlemen: Keep calm. It’s just another bodily function. Guys: If you’re willing to cover your junk in vaginal fluids during sex, why feel so disgusted by vaginal fluids that happen to be red? Ladies: It isn’t a big deal and definitely isn’t your fault. Freaking out will only freak out your guy, so play it cool, woman.

2. Dudes: After you compose yourself, let your lady know it’s OK and that it’s no big deal. Offer to grab her a towel or something. However, if she feels the need to take care of it herself, respect that. I know I’d rather deal with the mess than have my significant other do so. Misses: Communicate with your man what you need. Maybe you need to clean yourself up. Maybe you need to wash the sheets. Figure it out and tell him.

3. At this point, the bloody mess should be gone, and both parties should be feeling better about the mishap. Maybe it’s time to laugh it off a bit. You should feel comfortable with the person you’re having sex with, so lying in bed and talking about it should be no biggy. If it’s not, maybe re-evaluate whom you’re engaging in sexual activities with.

4. The big question: Do you launch a second attempt? Every pair feels differently about this. Period sex isn’t dangerous or anything. It sure is messy, though. Some men are down. Others aren’t. Some women are down, and others aren’t. It’s a discussion worth having with your partner. If both decide vaginal sex isn’t the way to go, other options exist—like blow jobs and, for the real adventurous, anal sex.

5. If you decide to have vaginal sex, try cowgirl position to avoid staining the sheets and use a condom. Better a bloody condom than a bloody penis.

Periods suck. Sometimes, they ruin perfect moments. But with the right man, those moments have evolved into something funny to look back on—even something special.

Toward the end of a relationship, I had one week remaining with my man until I set sail for home—only one week to wake up to my man’s dreamy body and make morning love. My period decided it wanted to bid its farewells too. We figured it out and so can you. And he wasn’t the first man who wanted me even with a bleeding vagina. Period sex can be a mess, but that’s why some genius invented towels.

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