Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Love yourself before others

Valentine’s Day. A day that snuck up on me. I’ve been single most of my life and I would say a majority of people in college have, unless they’ve been dating someone since childhood.

I think there’s a perception that single people don’t really have their life together. I might be the editor in chief for the campus newspaper, and I’ve got a decent handle on my classes and clubs, but there’s still a facet of my life that has a giant question mark on it.

When I was in a relationship, my life felt a lot more figured out and complete. It felt like it was an aspect of my life that I didn’t have to stress about. At least for a while. Boy, was I wrong. Relationships take a lot of communication and hard work. But more than that, you have to devote a part of yourself as a priority for that person. Rather than being bitter about all the couples on Valentine’s Day, I give major props to them.

As a member of the single club, you get to experience the simple pleasures of dating. Yes, dating can suck sometimes. However, there’s something kind of thrilling about navigating through the world of dating.

Before this year, I was always pretty cynical about love and commitment. I didn’t think it was something for me. But after this past semester, I can honestly say it’s something I can see for myself. And it wasn’t one particular relationship that made me feel this way. It was a year of learning experiences and being vulnerable for the first time. So rather than be bitter, think about those little moments.

We all know the excitement when you get a text from someone you’re into. Or the nerve-wracking moment before a first kiss. All those feelings are something we all go through whether it pays off and turns into a relationship or not.

Rather than fixate on the blunders I’ve made in the past, I choose to celebrate. I think a lot of people start to think about their past breakups and rejections when Valentine’s Day comes around the corner. People are either completely in love or have to embrace the “forever alone” attitude. For me, I chose to spend my Valentine’s Day celebrating with some of my friends. I’m lucky to have friends that have my back, so I decided to celebrate the day differently.

If I reflect back on some of my most memorable moments in life, they’re all when I was single. You get to do whatever you want whenever you want without anyone holding you back.

Being single isn’t half bad. You get lonely at times, but rather than waste your time trying to find someone to be with, maybe try filling that void. And no, not with chocolates. Try new things. Travel to different countries. Take on a new hobby. Make new friends. Write that book you keep saying you’re going to write. Get out of your comfort zones. Stop watching Netflix all the time.

Maybe, you don’t have to anticipate the next episode of your favorite show. Maybe your life will start to feel so exciting that you start to anticipate the next chapter of your life.

And then when you become the person you’ve always wanted to be, you’ll attract the right person — the person that is attracted to the best version of yourself.

Email at Kavita Singh at

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