Sunday, July 21, 2024

Letting go of worn-out relationships

If you’ve ever been in a bad relationship, you know how much it sucks to give and give without getting anything back in return. One reason we create relationships is to gain something. Whether it’s happiness, comfort or stability, we hope to attain something positive from another person.

Positive relationships are great and beneficial to your personal and social life, but relationships that are simply dead weight don’t help anyone.
For a relationship to be positive and healthy, both sides must actively try to encourage and empower one another.

We want to be close with individuals we can learn from and grow with rather than someone who’s just there and not contributing much of anything. If a relationship of yours is lacking positive qualities, you should consider making a few adjustments in an attempt to fix the problems before ending it completely.

Trying to fix a relationship may not always be the best choice, but if you’re adamant on saving what you have with someone, it may be possible.

Before trying to mend a relationship, you must decide if it’s even worth keeping. If you truly believe the person is a vital part of your life, you can try talking it out. Sit down with the person and tell them what’s been bothering you. Explain how the relationship is important to you and how you don’t want to see it come to an end. Tell the person you’d like them to be more supportive and considerate when it comes to personal growth in the relationship.

Keep in mind that you can change your behavior if needed too. Rather than bombarding them with things they should change, tell them how you’re willing to make changes on your part in order to make, things work.

On the other hand, if someone reacts defensively and tries to blame you for the failing relationship, ending it immediately may be for the best. Tell them you simply aren’t happy in the relationship anymore and aren’t gaining anything from being in the relationship. Someone who treats you disrespectfully doesn’t deserve to be in your life anyways. You deserve nothing but the utmost respect and love.

Recently, one of my best friends from high school decided she didn’t want to be friends anymore. Four years of friendship turned into nothing but nods and smiles from a distance at parties. When I asked her why we weren’t friends anymore, she said we outgrew each other and she made other friends. Of course my feelings were hurt. I wanted a better explanation as to why she ended things so abruptly. I never got that explanation.

After a few weeks of not talking, I realized my life wasn’t crumbling to pieces. I had other friends and events to occupy myself. I didn’t need her to complete my life because she’s just one person, and years from now I’ll look back and be thankful the relationship ended. Being dropped like a hot potato makes you realize who is temporary and who is permanent.

Today, I am even closer with the friends I have, and I don’t even think of that old friend anymore.

Yes, letting go of people may be difficult and sometimes messy, especially if they were a big part of your life, but sometimes it’s absolutely necessary. Ending toxic relationships leads to a happier and more positive you. When you stop constantly caring about pleasing someone, you suddenly have more time to focus on yourself.

It’s your life, and you owe it to yourself to be happy. Being surrounded by people who drag you down isn’t worth your time or frustration. Ending one relationship opens hundreds of doors to so many new experiences.

A world of opportunities is waiting for you, and there are always new people to meet and form new relationships with. Don’t think that ending one relationship will ruin your entire social life and leave you with no one. Ending a negative relationship is sometimes the only way to start fresh and begin new, empowering relationships that we all need.

Every relationship in your life should be a positive one. Wasting your time on someone who doesn’t put an effort into your relationship isn’t worth the trouble and worry. Letting go of old relationships is a part of life and will only lead to new experiences and new happiness.

Email Laura Schmidt at

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