He liked a pretty girl’s post on Instagram. He talked to that girl over there. Why did he shake hands with her? OMG, were they flirting with each other?
Hey, admit it! We all have been through that feeling of jealousy before. Threatened. Angry. Anxious.
If you are in a relationship, jealousy is unavoidable. After all, it can strengthen the bond between you and your loved one. However, it can be toxic enough to kill the relationship.
For example, on a lovely day, you are just checking out your boyfriend’s social media to see if he updates anything new. Suddenly, you come accross a picture of your boyfriend with one of his colleagues. Confused. Threatened. Worried. Those are all the feelings you start to get. And then you feel angry.
You start acting mad with your boyfriend without telling him the reason because you hope he is going to find out and fix it himself. Unfortunately, this only leaves him with confusion.
Jealousy is a form of miscommunication. And this can murder your relationship. I am always told not to make any assumption while my feelings are unstable. So do you. Jealousy is a universal emotion, but make sure you both communicate and work it out together. Do not hold anger and anxiety. In a healthy relationship, it is important for both people to trust and open up with each other.
It is also important to realize that your relationship is more likely at risk because of those jealousy behaviors, such as accusation, miscommunication and reassurance-seeking.
Remember jealousy is just a feeling inside you. You are the one to control it.
Next time, if you find yourself in that situation, first, take a deep breath and calm down. Things are not always the way you see it. You are making an assumption without facts. Your thoughts and the reality are two totally different things.
One of my favorite quotations from Blair Waldorf in Gossip Girl is, “We’re not servants to our emotions. We can control them, suppress them, stomp them out like bugs.” Of course, you can control your feelings and emotions. Don’t let the jealousy blind you and lead you to make a bad decision that you might regret later on.
If you are unsure about something, communicate with your partner. That’s the key to everything. It is always better to ask rather than assume. Accusing, demanding and punishing can create confusion and lead your relationship to death.
Try to use an effective relationship skills in order to strengthen the bond between both. Talk and listen to each other. Praise each other, and plan positive experiences with each other.
Having trust and being honest to each other is the key. Next time, if you see your boyfriend or girlfriend taking pictures with another person. Don’t freak out. Gently ask him or her what you are concerned about and figure it out together.
Email Hilly Nguyen at firstname.lastname@example.org