By Sophie Albertie
Who else but Americans?
If you or someone you know is above the age of 13 and waited in line at 4 a.m. this past week for a Bearista Starbucks cup, you may be entitled to staying away from me and everything I hold dear. This holiday season, greed is presenting itself as a designer bear shaped cup from Starbucks, with a green hat and straw to match.
It is to be understood that black friday isn’t what it used to be. Nowadays, uppercutting someone in the jaw for a 90% off flatscreen tv has lost all edge. Deals have plummeted, the people yearn for mindless competition and a little bit of blood. The cup itself is cute for maybe $10-15, but this battle of the bucks is deeply unnecessary when the exact same cup is available on amazon in a surplus–just without the logo. Either way, frappeheads still have to face a whopping $30 for the glassy cub cup.
- Dollars. You could buy enough strawberry acai refreshers to feed a family of four and still have enough for a cakepop. Go anywhere else and 30 dollars is a full meal, an apple airtag, or a head-to-toe outfit from Goodwill.
We as a society need to fight against this poster child of overconsumption.
At least the Popeyes chicken sandwich was edible. The real tragedy of this genre of ridiculousness is still having to pay ten dollars for a venti iced gingerbread chai and jalapeno chicken pocket after calling an ambulance for the woman in line behind you who is freaking out and posing questions to the workers like: What do you mean they only have two? I thought they had one for my daughter! I’ve been to every starbies in the tri state area!
Tis the season.
