Over the past week, my Facebook feed has been blowing up with friends sharing a video titled “Broken,” along with the #HurtBae trending on Twitter.
The Scene, which advertises itself as making “videos for women who get it,” published a confrontation between a woman and her ex-boyfriend who regularly cheated on her. The video then became a viral hit known as “hurt bae.”
He admits to having sex with multiple girls during their relationship. She admits to staying in the relationship for far too long. There have been a ton of parodies now of the video, which in my opinion, takes away from the first video. I’m all about being funny and having a sense of humor, but I’ve been that girl before.
Last semester, I was cheated on. I used to be ashamed of it for the longest time and went to great lengths to pretend it didn’t happen, but it did. I’m not sure why I felt a sense of shame for feeling the way I did, but I’m not anymore. When I realized what had happened, it felt like a shooting pain in my stomach. I didn’t eat for a few days because of the lump of guilt and disbelief in my throat. My initial reaction was to just get over him as soon as possible. It didn’t work. Not only was I now single, but I had a suitcase of baggage to carry with me. I had a hard time trusting anyone that showed interest in me and would purposely distance myself from guys when things started getting somewhat serious. I continued to build up walls of my own insecurities until I finally had enough. I decided to stop letting the shame burden me.
I still feel uneasy when I talk about it, but I’ve realized over time that it wasn’t my fault. It was my douche bag of a boyfriend’s fault.
Cheating is one of the most selfish things a person can ever do to someone. The purpose of a relationship is to show affection and love toward someone by making them a priority. If you betray the trust that has been built, it can never be rebuilt again. If you’ve ever considered cheating, don’t do it. If you really love someone, then even the thought of cheating will disgust you. Instead, just let that person go before you hurt them.
And if you’ve been cheated on, then think before taking them back. The young woman in the video said she was stupid for giving her ex-boyfriend so many chances because she thought of him as a best friend as well. If I’m being honest, I did consider taking back my ex-boyfriend for a split second. I wondered if the relationship was worth looking past his infidelity. It took a little time after I had gotten out of that “relationship bubble” to realize I had made a smart decision. I’ve moved on now, but as I watch that video, I see the same type of pain on the young woman’s face that I had once endeavored.
It might hurt to let someone go, but it also hurts to know you’ve given that type of person a second chance.
Email at Kavita Singh at firstname.lastname@example.org