It was a highlighter party. He walked up to me and handed me a green highlighter to draw on his shirt. We talked for a minute as the music forced us to basically yell at each other.
As I opened the green highlighter, I had an impulse thought to write my number on his shirt. That would’ve been cute, right? Or maybe creepy.
I looked at him again and noticed just how attractive he was and instantly considered that he might have a girlfriend. Instead, I simply signed my name and handed back the highlighter pen.
Needless to say, I wondered for the next week what would’ve happened had I just been bold enough to do something so ballsy.
The following weekend, I was with two of my friends at my friend’s house party. One was fighting with her boyfriend. One was playing beer pong, and I was nonchalantly sipping a beer and chatting to people on the side.
I saw the same guy walk into the house as he was also standing in a corner alone. I was feeling pretty bold, so I went back up to him and reintroduced myself.
We chatted for several minutes, and the conversation was pretty fluid and right when he said he remembered me, another guy interrupted our conversation to talk to me.
He walked away from me and I was instantly annoyed at this otherwise friendly guy who simply wanted to talk to me about a club we were both in.
“Are you coming upstairs?” he asked me before leaving.
My mind raced. Did he want me to? “No, I’m staying,” I said.
Soon after, I went to find my friends so we could go out.
We went upstairs to take some photos and on my way out, I saw him again.
My friends said they were leaving in two minutes, but I didn’t want to leave without talking to this guy again.
So, I chugged my beer, and waltzed right over to him.
“Hey, I’m on my way out, but give me your number,” I said giving him my phone.
He seemed a bit startled at first, but then he smiled and nodded.
He found my ID in my phone case and we joked about how hungover I looked in my photo. He showed me his ID card, and a suddenly scary moment turned into a playful one.
He gave me my phone back as my friend screamed at me to come downstairs, and I walked back down feeling pretty empowered.
I was trying to find my friends when I walked into another girl I knew in one of my classes.
“Hey, what’s up?” she asked.
“I’m feeling pretty fucking good because I scored some guy’s number,” I said feeling a nice buzz.
“You savage,” she said. “I would never do something like that.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“I like being chased and approached personally,” she said.
“I mean good for you,” she said realizing how undermining she came off.
I cracked open another beer and went into my friend’s room as she changed.
As I recapped them, I couldn’t help but fixate on what this other girl just told me.
Why can’t I get a guy’s number? We live in this feminist world, where we’re constantly trying to fight for equality, but some reason, when it comes to relationships and dating, people revert back to old-fashioned tendencies.
Why can’t women make the first move? It’s a silly thought to simply wait for someone to approach us, not to mention objectifying to women in general.
I quickly texted the guy and told him to save my number and he replied within a few minutes. I was elated. He then sent me pictures from the latest iOS update, which I didn’t have so I couldn’t see what he sent me.
The next morning I updated my phone, and saw he sent me a very flirty animation, so I sent one back. An hour went by, and I looked up at my phone to see a notification that he saved my animation photo.
So next time you see an attractive person at a party, throw caution to the wind, and go for it. Stop saying “what if,” and start saying: “why the hell not?”
Email Kavita Singh at firstname.lastname@example.org