Monday, September 21, 2020

Embrace loneliness, independence

Being single is often looked upon in a negative light. To some people it is a problem that needs to be fixed. As humans, people do require social interactions, but it is OK to be alone sometimes. In fact, there can be a handful of benefits to emerging yourself in solitude.

Being alone and lonely are two different terms. To be alone means to have no one else present and to feel loneliness means to be saddened because one has no friends or company. According to an article by Whitney Caudill a writer for the Huffington Post, a person can be alone and not lonely, or they can be alone and lonely. Being single or alone and not lonely can be great, but being single and lonely can create problems.

Often it is seen that if you are single, you are unhappy, and if you are in a relationship, you are filled with joy. People have grown accustomed to being with someone, whether it is being in a relationship or a friendship. Some people feel the need to always be in a relationship. In college, everyone is trying to find his or her significant other. There is a belief that if a person did not find their high school sweetheart, they will find that person in college, and that does not always happen. Some students come to college already being with someone and then end up not being with that person anymore. College nights can get extremely lonely, but they do not have to be. There are many things that can be done to counteract those feelings.

“I am really content with being by myself,” Plattsburgh State junior psychology major Kenya Williams said. “As long as I have my friends.”

Whether a person is single or in a relationship, the feeling of loneliness can happen at any point. The feeling of lonesomeness is not a bad thing. Being alone should be a time of productivity. When alone, a person has the ability to be in touch with his or her surroundings and their thoughts. It is the perfect time to start to be creative. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. If that one isn’t healthy, none of your others will be according to the Huffington Post “Eight Reasons Why Being Single is OK” article.

“If you are feeling lonely, you better find something that fills that void,” Izzy Garcia, PSUC junior sociology major and minor in criminal justice, said. “If you like reading books, go and read a book.”

There are plenty of reasons as to why being alone is completely OK. One reason is that a person has the ability to work on themselves and not focus on others. According to an article by Tony Robinson, a blogger writing for lifehack.com, when people are surrounded by other people, they expend a lot of their energy trying to keep others happy, make them laugh, soothe their egos, read their emotions and all of the other rigors that come along with regular interaction. People tend to tolerate unacceptable behavior from friends, family and partners to abate loneliness.

There is an importance to a person working on themselves to understand who they are as an individual.

Another reason why being alone is pleasant is that a person can immerse themselves into his or her work. Being in the company of people can distract a person from getting their work done, according to lifehack.com, a productivity and lifestyle blog being in a relationship can affect your productivity.

“I do anything that involves work just to not think about it,” Franchesca Parra, a PSUC junior and gender women’s studies major and entrepreneurship minor, said. “It’s very effective.”

Being in a relationship is not the worst thing on earth. A relationship can have many benefits, but if a person is single that is OK too. One of the main purposes for college is for students to find out what they want to do in life and who they are.

“College is about finding who you are as a person. Not trying to rely on someone else to comfort you. You have friends for that. You don’t need a man or any significant other for you not to be lonely,” Williams said.

Email Breyana Anderson at cp@cardinalpointsonline.com

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